Well, as usual, I am up for the mother of the year award..
I tell you, I can't seem to get this parenting thing down. Just when I think that I have a good handle on how things are supposed to go, up comes another curve ball. I have long thought that if I had to make the choice, kids or career that I would choose kids without regards to anything else. But it seems that I have a real dilemma. For all of your moms/dads that have complacent/docile easily agreeable children, stop reading now. (I know, not possible, right?) You might just be unable to understand. For all else, be warned, I am going to be completely honest........Any suggestions are greatly appreciated........Here is the situation:
Ty- He has always been my emotional child. He takes everything to heart and reacts accordingly. He is stubborn to a fault and has trouble with thinking he can't be successful no matter how much I try to boost his self-esteem. He is shy and awkward when it comes to new situations and experiences. He is the oldest and unfortunately, my test to all new parenting issues.
Liv- She is my fiercely independent child. She likes to see how much she can get away with. From a very early age, she has mastered the art of manipulation and can lie to your face without even thinking twice about it. She thinks that she can do anything Ty can and is in constant battle for the "in-charge" spot of siblings. She has little to no fear for new situations and is always trying to prove herself older. Her life ambition is to become a "rockstar". Scary, hua?
Liam- He is just my sponge. He sees the turmoil between Ty and Liv and it affects him. He has been slow to talk and therefore throws tantrums with the best acting, I think he deserves an Oscar or at least an Emmy! He loves to be outside and he has shown that he will be independent and stubborn too.
Here's the problem: I work from 8:30-5:30. I can drop off the kids to school which is great. But the afternoon is a tightrope act that I am always trying to stay on. I pick up the kids, find some quick, easy, nutritionally based dinner I can magically make in 5 minutes or less (okay, really 30 minutes, but you get the point), quickly diffuse any fights over who get the "yellow" cup or who has more room than the other, eat, then bath, homework, bedtime story, bed. Every day!
I can't stop working for two reasons: I need the money. I have debt I need to pay off.......And if I am going to be anything when I grow up, I need the experience.
So what to do?
Quit and try to find a balance between having to struggle financially and devoting time to my kids and their behaviors
Or
Stay working, pay off debt and try to manage a miracle in the short time I have every day?
Either way I feel is a no-win situation. Both affect me and the kids on a long term basis.
So there you go, I am officially pulling off the mask of the perfect mom. I am not her, sorry to disappoint anyone. I am just trying to make it through another day with out looking back and having CNN question my parenting abilities when they talk about my horrific children.. HAHA
Anyone feel the same?
Have any suggestions?
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3 comments:
You know I think you have the absolute best kids in the world but you need to be able to be a person outside of being mom, even if you only get to do it from 830-530. You are doing it! If nothing else, you are teaching Liv that she can do anything and you are teaching Ty and Liam to value all of teh hard work that a woman, wife, mom does every day! Pinch the little rockstar for me :)
Love,
Candi
If you ask me, you’re struggling with the same issues that every parent has. No one ever said having kids, supporting, and raising them would be easy. You’re doing great!! Maybe you just need a little break and a little bit more time for yourself. Breath... :)
GET ORGANIZED~ You've done both, stay home and work....so what can make life easier after work?? ORGANIZATION.... Set up a menu for the week, or two, or month and go grocery shopping. Have all the items in stock at home and have each day ready to go...make a meal calendar. In the morning set out the meat or get the crock pot going, so when you are home it is ready to go. Organization is key in my life. If I have a routine I'm so much better off. Maybe the kids would do better with homework after a bath?? All full, calm, and relaxed and can now concentrate to do it. Instead of homework right after work, they could do chores or play until dinner. Maybe just switching the times of things would help~ Definitely get time for just you, and cherish that time. If your only time you have is the drive from work to home......that isn't enough. Do something to get you pumped and energized to keep going. Same with the kids. Time is tight with these kiddos, so do something fun... not homework related or something you have to do. Make it something fun so they will have those fun memories of childhood!! Doesn't have to be disneyland... could be frisbee in the park or racing bubbles. On a windy day try to beat the bubbles to the finsh line. Just something you can do that you will all laugh and go home feeling all warm and fuzzy~ Even working from home I'm in the same boat. Kids walk in and want dinner, then homework, then bed. Where does the family time go?? Squeeze it in!! Really though being organized about my meals has helped so much. Chicken is out and marinated and ready for the grill..... no fuss. Hope I've helped~ All moms are super moms for everything they do. You'll feel guilt one way or the other. We have that guild gene in us all~ Do what is right for you, and find ways to make it work better~ I miss you~ Lena~
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